NOT body dysmorphic disorder

That would be the opposite.
Wake up with hair-to-go and a wardrobe of ready-to-wear outfits. Relax at the breakfast table because you can eat what you want and you don't get fat. Is that a spot? Only because it's that time of the month because you never breakout otherwise. Moustache? It's just the unflattering light, a mere shadow.

I have a collection of aspirational clothes that I'm dying to wear. Now, I haven't been a size 12 since 1996, but how hard can it be?

2nd hand shops trouble me. I'm big. A big TALL girl (be PROUD! said the doctor) just like they didnt used to make. A bargain will make my week, but hunting for the perfect dress (the current quest) is tiring. I know one vintage shop (BOUTIQUE) which labels their stock with sizes (Bang Bang, Goodge Street) and that's as upmarket you'll get this side of Ladbroke Grove. Where was I?

Essentially, to find the perfect dress, which I truly believe is out there somewhere, whether forgotten in my mum's wardrobe or stashed in the stockroom of a covent garden frockerie, I must only compromise my idea of myself and never my budget. You see, in the olden days, the days that vintage outfitters hark back to, ladies were ladies, corseted to the hourglass and pinchtoed to paralysis. While I covet the cachet and cool of the one-off-the-peg piece, is the disappointment and degradation required to reach the prize worth it?

1. ebay
2. blackoutII, endell st, covent garden
3. rokit, CAMDEN & covent garden
4. mystery store, mercer street, covent garden