token girl: like a girl, but better

Wednesday, 7 January 2004

stain removal

emailed at 12.15 pm Oh no. so I treated myself to a mocha from pret yesterday morning. Got into the office and dumped my bag & drink on my desk, turned around, and dull thud. Chocolate coffee all over the floor. The carpet is the ultra-absorbent rented workspace style stuff and I've been stained into bad fengshui with ugly dried puddle next to my desk. As if this week wasn't going to be bad enough! Ugh. Oh double ugh!

Anyone got any tips for stain removal?

what they said:

Dab, don't wipe.

Ignore. Deny all knowledge. shoot shifty sideward glances at anyone with a coffee cup. Blame office idiot (unless thats you). Spill carpet coloured syruppy drink on stain. Sit and wait for the foul smell of festering milk to envelop the office. Have a nice glass of squash. Remember the good old days before polystyrene cups and third degree burns... before we were forced to drink water out of plastic pop-up nipples... when the only choice was between Mars and Twix. When tomato sauce sachets splurged all over your fingers and like totally not your ...errr food - Fuck it, that still happens.

Richard Vlietstra 12:29

My favourite line from that reply: " Blame office idiot (unless thats you)."


Richard Kershaw 12:30

I would suggest changing the entire office around so that the stain is relocated by somebody else's desk - solving the problems of bad feng shui and possibly redirecting the blame at someone senior enough not to get bollocked for it

Nick Gadsby 12:38

Who do you think we are? Women's weekly household tip specialists? Um, in the past I've tried those spray on &scrub out carpet stain remover jobbies, but get this THEY DON'T WORK.

Um, cut a square of carpet to match said area, preferably from somewhere inconspicuous in the office eg inside the stationary cupboard. Cut out stained area to same size, gently slot in fresh unstained carpet and hey presto. No.

Hire a professional carpet cleaner person with a very expensive dyson.

Michelle Kilfoyle 12:23

i dunno anna maybe you should have a go with Boot's hair lightening kit. i remember the time (the morning of my last A-level exam) when i thought it would be clever to get up extra early on the morning of my last A-level exam to touch up my fuschia-coloured streaks and bam.. down fell a large splodge onto my parents' pale pink bathroom carpet. didn't have time to sort it out before going to school, so instead of rejoicing with glee at the handing in of the said exam paper, i solemnly trudged home contemplating my imminent bollocking. after the bollocking i then spotted the aforementioned hair lightening kit and applied some to the stain. and magic! it worked! ... (actually i've probably told you this story before..) so you could have a go with your coffee stain and see what happens...

Katie Jane Anderson 12:56

lick it up

Daniel Bates 15:36

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